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i have these moments where something will happen: i’ll hear a noise, someone will say something, i’ll lose an earring and then seventy-six memories that i thought i had forgotten will make themselves known to my eyelids and my brainwaves and for a second i’ll see things so clearly but on the cresting wave the colors turn neutral and my smile falters and usually that’s when i’m left quiet and unsure. cause the noises are beautiful and the way he undressed was too but godammit so many words get lost. so many kisses misplaced. airplanes missed, hands forgotten, books dismissed. i’m trying to remember his voice but all i manage to recall is the number of stairs from the street to his apartment door. i am afraid of losing these memories. of losing this place and that place. the homes i’ve left because i’m too impossible. these visions make themselves visible to me and i want to capture them, make them solidify on paper, make them be real (again) but in the moment when i blink again it all fades away and i don’t catch those images, i don’t say what i’m thinking, i don’t write that e-mail.
please remember to remember me.
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life, is rounded with a sleep."
The Tempest - W. Shakespeare (via whensungoesdown, new-sensation)
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